In today's interview, we explore the intriguing world of mystical and esoteric influences with Christina Deva whose life and music are deeply intertwined with the search for deeper meanings. Our conversation delves into why mystical themes resonate so strongly with them, revealing a journey marked by profound personal quests for understanding and the divine.
Their engagement with the mystical began in response to a deep-seated dissonance felt from a young age, stemming from the pain and suffering experienced in their life. This quest for meaning beyond the visible and tangible led them to seek a phenomenological approach to spirituality, relying on direct, personal experiences of the divine to shape their understanding and beliefs.
As we discuss these themes, we also touch on the transformative power of music, not just as an art form, but as a vehicle for healing and divine connection. The artist shares their belief in music's ability to facilitate a co-creation with consciousness beyond our own, highlighting the profound impact sound can have on our perception of reality and our spiritual lives.
Join us as we uncover how personal suffering and the pursuit of truth have guided their musical journey, crafting a path that is both uniquely challenging and immensely rewarding.
Would you consider yourself to be drawn to the mystical and esoteric things? If so, why do you think this is?
Yes, because in life I have felt, simple answers have never been enough, not knowing the reason of being alive brought no comfort, there was always a dissonance I felt growing up, witnessing and experiencing the pain and suffering that engulfed my inner world and existence on earth. I could not bear it and accept it as all there is, I wanted to experience for myself the presence of the divine, for without it life for me was merely a sea of darkness devoid of love.
I found that no matter how many teachings and paths I followed, the only way for me to be convinced of the existence of the true definition of God, was through a phenomenological approach as the root of my learning, meaning having my own direct experience of spiritual mysticism, alongside learning through others direct experiences.
In conclusion, I feel that my suffering is what drew me to that path. The very fact that I was not content with my own existence as it was and was willing to risk my life to find truth.
Do you believe music has the power to heal? Please share your thoughts on this topic.
Yes, I believe, not only that music has the power to heal, but also, that when we create music, we invite consciousness beyond our earthly incarnation to move through our vessels, our bodies, to sound itself into existence, I believe its a co creation with more than "us" as we know ourselves, and each particle of sound, if it can even be quantified, has its own consciousness.
"To hear a sound, is to see a space", as said by architect Louis I. Kahn. I believe that each aspect of sound has its own visual form, colour, feeling, and other qualities that give it a distinct character. The same goes for melodies and rhythms, tone qualities, sonic dynamics and so on, yet such worlds where many sonic elements that fuse together to form a musical piece, would be more complicated, perhaps forming different universes or dimensions.
As humans, we never use all of our brain capacity at once, and we have limits. We do not perceive and sense reality in its absolute form. Other animals hear different frequencies we can't hear, see different colours we can't see, and so on. An absolute perspective of reality encompases all perspectives that exist at once, meaning the reality we perceive in our day to day life is never absolute. That makes every experience that appears to be an altered state of consciousness, a metaphysical experience, synesthesia, a near death experience or an out of body experience, merely a different perspective that is part of the absolute.
The perspective itself is part of the absolute, but how we phrase it limits it to a subjective interpretation of a perspective that consists of the fragment of the absolute.
In conclusion, this is one of the reasons why I believe music has the power to heal, because it transcends us, it is a non explicitly perceivable contact and co creation with divine energies, a bridge between our world and other realms of existence, it provides a window for a mystical experience thus potential for healing.
What inspired you to start making music?
Since I was a child, every time I listened to music I liked, I would envision myself singing, it happened so automatically, I didn't question it. From an early age however I was shamed and made fun of for trying to sing, and it traumatized me deeply, to the point I had tremendous fear of using my voice, for singing, public speaking, etc. This translated into my body psychosomatically as tension, and difficulty with communication and self expression. I had other aspects of a troubled mind that I then soothed with addiction.
It was only when I lost my voice completely due to the severity of my addiction and psychosomatic pathologies that lead to vocal tension & illness, that I realized that if I keep being an addict, I will die in silence. The only thing that I wanted more than smoking, was to be able to sing, and use my voice to make music.
That became my biggest motivation, I replaced smoking with learning how to sing, and I would practice all the time, even if I wasn't perfect, and sometimes I sounded terrible, I didn't care anymore, I felt that my only other option was death, so I chose to live and work to make what was once only in my head a reality.
I still have much more to learn, as I only did this turn on my path in life 4-5 years ago. It is an infinitely inspiring journey I can't see my life without.
You make improvisational music, what do you feel is the key to improvising well?
My primary improvisational instrument is vocal, so my perspective focuses on the voice as the instrument.
The key for me is to:
- Listen very deeply, and respond to the sound, as if you are becoming part of it, fusing together.
- To have no expectations from yourself, to limit your self judgement and heighten observation.
- To not underestimate the power and potential of potent nuances that can emerge through simplicity.
- To trust that through allowing yourself to totally surrender to the sound, you will progressively open up and free yourself to new possibilities, greater than what your conscious mind may expect you to do.
- As musician Chloe Goodchild says in her book : "Transform, don't perform, express, don't impress"
- An improvisation that touches your soul does not require advanced technical skill or advanced theoretical understanding, it more so requires you to reveal the depths of your soul, and lose yourself to find yourself as they say.
- Do not care about what people think.
- On the practical side of things, remain consistent with learning, practicing, exposing yourself to different musical settings, getting out of your comfort zone and following your intuition over what you want to learn and incorporate in your practice.
How did you choose the musicians you collaborate or perform with?
Admittedly I am sometimes shy to approach people I want to collaborate or perform with, so oftentimes the ones that I collaborate & perform with seem to appear through some form of synchronicity, and they seem to get what I do, or most aspects of what I do, sometimes better than myself. It has insofar always been the case that when I sense they get it, the feeling of admiration for what we both do is mutual, and also the spiritual perspective on music is mutual, which is a window of more possibilities to sonically connect, become one through sound and explore the worlds that unfold from that.
That is for the improv based collaborations and performances, as I don't have much experience yet in regards to collaborating and performing together on my compositions or others compositions, yet what draws me to working with other musicians, always includes a spiritual depth that they seem to experience and have managed to embody through their practice, and their openness both in listening, and their approaches to playing. I often listen and assess what would be a fun sonic sea for my voice to flow through.
I definitely wish to collaborate and perform with more people, both on my personal project, and also in improvisational projects or other projects, as I feel for me it can be the most fun and spiritual/transcendental way to communicate with other beings, and it mutually encourages learning, inspiration & growth.
Who are your musical influences?
My biggest influences vocally and lyrically are Reverend Kristin Michael Hayter, Diamanda Galas & Darja Kazimira's voice. Kristin Hayter and Diamanda Galas are messiah's for me, and I bow on my knees, sometimes crying, when listening to most of their works. I have never felt so much emotion from any other music, no one has pointed towards more spiritual depth without excluding the pain & darkness that unveils it like them, no one has that depth and potency in evoking emotion for me, it feels to me like the only human that has sung out the core of my inner suffering in existence other than me is Kristin Hayter & Diamanda Galas.
Before I encountered their music, my writing and music (unreleased) came from a very similar place, but these women taught me to not be afraid, and to go deeper & deeper, to completely surrender myself, and I am still learning & working with those teachings.
Before I encountered their music, my biggest influence was Jeff Mangum. His genre is not the one I typically listen to, but what his music is rooted in, what his soul emanates, lyrically and vocally, changed my life. I wished to have a book with all of his lyricism, it made me cry, the emotion and sincerity with which he delivered them, made everything else disappear, it made what he expresses be the most important thing in existence, what a beautiful thing to live for I thought, to be able to experience this, same goes for the above.
I could talk about my influences for hours because there are many more that have influenced my music in its different aspects, yet these are few ones that lay in the core of my soul, and live through me, the way our love for things can live through us eternally, even when those things are gone, or no longer in physical form.
Can you describe your creative process when writing a song?
The lyrics come first always, and they oftentimes come as poetry with a non certain configured melody. It will happen at a completely random time where for whatever reason, an experience, song, sound, phenomenon, dream etc, has inspired me, and has awakened a very strong feeling within me to the point I need to type it down to verbalise it. It often starts from one sentence and then expands.
I then often let these writings sit and whenever I play a melody that I feel drawn to, I try out seeing how my writing can fit there. Sometimes it works, and sometimes I need to trim or modify the words slightly. Once I successfully fuse the melody with the writing (usually I write it on guitar, lyre, keyboard, drone etc), I focus more on the vocal delivery of each part of the song, and repeat it, testing out different things until something really sticks with me. Sometimes I have to record the voice and when I go back to working on the song, use that as a learning reference. It usually takes me lots of repetitions to really successfully remember everything. I may then eventually think of elements outside the voice and core instrumentation, yet insofar I've kept my set very stripped back.
I look forward to exploring more song writing approaches.
How do you handle creative blocks or moments when you feel uninspired?
I know deep down that in such moments, I have to expose myself to more of life in general. Have walks alone, read books, go to gigs, listen to good music and read good lyricism/ poetry, have deep talks that awaken emotion within me, face my own shadows and challenge myself to heal inner blockages. In moments where there's a creative block or a lack of inspiration, it's a call for me to improvise, with other musicians and with myself, experiment, be creative in other areas, and pay more attention to my individual spiritual growth.
I acknowledge also that it can oftentimes be life itself telling me to focus on finishing what I have already started rather than moving on to the next thing, as I oftentimes have this issue. When I make a song it means so much to me, and then the more I grow and evolve the more I want to make something different that is more current to the energy.
There is value in working to evolve and polish a craft you've already made before moving on to the next thing, and I am currently going through this experience, of realizing that I need to work on what I have, and there is more to be explored with a specific sonic and lyrical path or expression I've began to curve.
How do you feel your music has evolved since you first started?
It has evolved with the voice. When I first started I was vocally more rigid and less daring to explore different aspects of my own voice. My influences were also perhaps less rooted to the core of what I wished to express, as I began to explore more possibilities with my voice and with music, my style developed to embody what I felt more than lyrically, also musically and vocally. Reconnecting with my Greek heritage and traditional Greek music from my ancestral lands and other areas has definitely been a massive influence, alongside opening up to heavier sounds & drone.
It made me wish to create songs that sound both ancient and contemporary or futuristic, and I am still working on that.
My own self discovery also led me to dare to embody my truer nature vocally. The liberation of accepting that I am more than just one person, I am more than my age, my gender, my human qualities, the acceptance of my whole self, both its shadows and ugliness, and its beauty and purity. That experience encouraged me to shed any masks and just be, and through music, to reveal sides of myself I typically remain hidden and sensored.
I have a long way to go in regards to songwriting and improvising that breaks my boundaries completely and combines all elements I wish to include compositionally, lyrically, dynamically, sonically, vocally, in terms of texture etc etc, so I am really excited to keep working on music and build my life around it more and more, to be able to pay utmost devotion to it.
Can you tell us about your latest album/project and the story behind it?
I can speak about one of the songs I performed at your event, called "Gods In Catatonia", it was the second song of our set. Gods In Catatonia unfolds a narrative of a surrealist, animist, oneiric realm, of the journey of the soul, from earthbound body that witnesses the depths of pain and beauty, the paradox and polarities of existence, to the process of the deathly rebirth,or return, or resurrection, transcendence to boundless spirit with an axis to aeternum, the complexity of the multidimensional cosmos revealed. The name Gods In Catatonia, reflects the gnosis of the limitless divinity within all life encased in earthbound human limitation, yet witnessing glimpses of the infinite micro - macro cosmic multi layered life phenomena unfold, to a point of entering what to society can be delirium; a liminal dreamscape that paradoxically holds more truth in its meaningful meaninglessness than reality as we know it.
What message or emotions do you hope to convey through your music?
I make music that intends to not exclude darkness in the process of finding light, moreso music that points to the light hidden within darkness, or takes one through the experience of metaphorical descendence, to then ascend. It's when we're in the darkest places in our lives, that we bow down on our knees, look up at the sun, cry out and pray for some sort of salvation.
A lot of my music is part of my healing process from trauma as a result of abuse and rape in the earlier years of my life, so I would feel content if people that relate to such experiences of deep pain, can resonate, find some form of healing through what I share, & connection to being more than the suffering, connecting with the source of our soul and expanding our narratives.
I do not have expectations as I understand music, art, poetry, is perceived subjectively, so at the end of the day, I wish to be sincere to my feelings, and share them through songs, and for people to feel something, anything!
How do you prepare for a live performance?
I aim to start rehearsals at least a month or more in advance, depending on how fresh and ready the songs for the configured line up are, and the frequency of the rehearsals. If there's new songs or it's been a while since I've performed, we would need to rehearse more frequently or start earlier. The first few rehearsals will be focused on nailing down the set, trying different things and possibilities before coming to a conclusion, finding our way into the songs and correcting any mistakes that arise.
Once we get that, we can relax a bit more with rehearsing, I still want to have things fresh and ready though. Closer to the performance date, we will do full run throughs of everything the way it would be on stage roughly, without talking in between and trying to switch at normal pace, whilst keeping the time, to see how many minutes we take, in order to make sure we don't go too far overtime and utilize out time slot efficiently.
On the day of the performance, as in all days where I practice the voice or rehearse, I warm up vocally, listen to what my voice needs on that day, and what the vocal practice I am about to execute needs on that day. I make sure to eat light foods that are easy to digest and don't have lasting flavour, trying to stick with healthy & small snacks rather than a full meal. I drink plenty of water, and I also do a quick run through of different parts I want to run through on the songs, to make sure I have them refreshed in my memory and I memorize the optimal vocal placement for myself on each part.
Lastly when performing, I try to transmute the adrenaline of anxiety into energy, I try to resist it and open up, instead of shutting down and letting it get the best of me, and think that nothing really matters, as if it's my last day on earth. It feels like some sort of exposure therapy.
Who would be your dream collaboration, and why?
There's so many, certainly however, besides my biggest influences, I'll focus on artists & projects whose sounds are a dream sonic sea for me to float vocally on: I would love to do vocals for the bands Earth, and OM, The Jonny Halifax Invocation, Arbor Cultus, Coil, Black Ox Orkestar, Doran, Stephan Micus & more I may have missed. These are just a few that I thought of. I am also currently having an ongoing dream collaboration, with Antoni Tashev, and the Magic Tree Collective, Garwyn Linnell and David Edward.
How do you stay inspired and continue to grow as an artist?
There's nothing else that can fulfill my life as much. This is my path, the path I chose to take, perhaps before I was born, and if I wasn't embracing that path, I wouldn't be alive right now. It is what saved me, and what holds me onto the earth until it's my time to go, it feels like a purpose I have to fulfill alongside my journey of spiritual gnosis. When I forget and get pessimistic, I retreat to methods of remembrance. The most powerful one for me however is, the remembrance of metaphorical death. How seeking it and experiencing it lead me to singing and music. It was as if God saw I wanted to leave, and gave me a gift. God said, "follow your heart, and don't care about anything else, it is never too late, I love you, we are together always". The remembrance of that inspires me.
Can you share a funny or unusual experience you’ve had while performing or recording?
When I first started performing, I was happy to play anywhere, as long as it was within the underground art scene (since I can't perform anywhere big yet I may as well perform in the cool places), so I asked to perform at this DIY outdoor art exhibition run by creatives at a neighbourhood basketball court.
It was crazy as it felt like all these new age fellow alien artists took over a normal neighbourhood community space for the evening to celebrate our out of the box artistic expressions. Art films, art performances, music, photography, video art, sculpture, paintings, live painting etc all in one place. It was quite beautiful to see how through communion, we can technically go against the capitalist system that places us under the illusion that you can only enjoy a fun night out with money. I was assured that the organizer had asked for permission from the council.
When we started performing with Antoni, through our little portable amps and with battery powered lights, the lights went off, some people lit their torch and we kept going,
As I kept singing I opened my eyes and I saw one of the torches in the distance came from quite a few police officers approaching, however I didn't want to stop and kept going until it seemed like everyone was dispersed and there was plenty of chaos, it felt funny to me that my songs where the theme song of such an occurrence. They followed some people all the way to their apartment down the road and wanted to carry all sorts of searches. One person told me, even when the police came, they just couldn't take their eyes off the performance because of how emotionally expressive it was, and that made it all worth it. I later then found out they are an amazing surreal performance artist, probably one of my favourites in London, Charles Jimenez. On our way home, we stopped by an Indian restaurant, and the owner said the whole neighbourhood went crazy as they didn't understand what was going on, and called the cops.
What’s next for you? Are there any upcoming projects or goals you’re excited about?
Insofar, I have been a bit involuntarily reclusive with my project, yet I would like to work with more musicians, that see and understand the vision.
I am also looking forward to recording the songs I perform, and weave a narrative through creating an album, as I like it, with room for sonic experimentation and interludes, whilst maintaining a balance between how the songs are delivered live, and the new touches that ought to be added for the sake of birthing a potent sonic experience. I wish to create more visual imagery surrounding it, honouring the psycho spiritual, animistic, surrealistic, metaphysical & darkness inclusive realms I explore.
Lastly, I wish to perform, and create more events. At the moment, I'm in very early stages with this project, so I'm still gathering and organising what could be perceived as some sort of "starter kit", at least from a professional aspect, I'm still nurturing the roots of Christina Deva for it to blossom from its core and branch out further and further.
Is there anything else you’d like to share or mention?
At the moment the best place to catch up with my artistic progress, process & gig announcements is on my instagram, @christina_deva , that also links to some released improvisational recordings & more.
I also have a monthly radio show on RTM.FM, called Astral Pierrot. By going to my resident profile on RTM.FM you can listen to all radio archives, which are most often selections from my biggest influences and music that inspires me, I make announcements for when each new episode comes up at @christina_deva & @astral_pierrot.
By the REAL Editorial Team | May 23, 2024